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porkie was a legend. his hatred was most amusing.
but i wouldn't class him as an aos retard. he was deffintly a retard before then!


victorinox was pretty awesome.

Ok here is my AOS Retard list. Because it specifically refers to people who were outstanding retards in aos, certain people dont make the list, despite possibly being greater retards at other periods of uo's history.

No particular order but numbered so semi literate people can follow the list easily.

1. Bilbo [europa]- This guy pulled a vanishing act a few months after aos was out, but still qualifies for that 3 months for his never ending ability to constantly spew forth random insults whilst chasing people around with his axe. Memorable for quality one liners like LOLLOLL YOU SUCK and HAHAHA YOUR MUM.

2. Fumin [Drachs]- This guy is a legend. Had one of the greatest forum egos Ive ever seen, and also the greatest disparity between forum ego and in game ability ive ever seen. ever. Responsible for one of my greatest UO laugh out loud moments, when days after his latest "I'm great" posts myself and two other I-C went through the fire teleporter into Despise. When we went through we appeared in a crowd of 10 OMG(his guild, americans). The brave and noble Fumin's first act was to run like noone ive ever seen, not just offscreen but he completely vanished, presumably logged out, and completely deserting his guild mates. Even Piourk would wait til one spell hit him before legging it (and he came back). Yes we won that fight. As Manix would say, ego is ok if you can back it up, otherwise you join Zim's retard list.

3. Shindara [Drachs]- My first thoughts of this guy were that he was a decent bloke. However he has one of the worst tendancies for pvp hypocrisy (people who call themselves pvpers, moan about something they think isnt fair, then use it themselves the next day). Ive seen him moan about wands, deathstrike, necro, bushido absolutely everything, yet he has always made at least one character to use each ability. Then of course there is the legendary HEAL BRAZIER incident, which would make him one of the all time greatest UO retards regardless of anything else.

4. ActualFantasy + Cookie [Europa]- I've paired these two up because let's face it, they are a double act. Cookie is the lesser retard of the two, an actually fairly intelligent guy who isn't so bad, but he suffers from two things. One is forum ego, both in overhyping his ability (he has none) and also refusing to accept he is wrong, ever. The other is his friendship of AF that leads him to defend AF over the most ridiculous and laughable things. That brings us nicely to AF, who is super retarded. Im not going to make any comment about his looks, but it's kind of hard not to laugh when he says he has rosy cheeks because he is CHIEF BED TESTER. He was an even greater hypocrite than Shindara, called anyone who killed him a bug abuser and runner, and yet was a bug abuser and runner himself. He made a mage when fc4 came out, and promptly retired him when p25 came out. Just a true idiot.

5. Fiction [Europa]- Another big ego, boosted by his joining of 6i6 (at the start of aos?). Not the worst mage in the world, but barely average, another case of a true board ego. Spent weeks insulting me on faction boards, then had to cry when 20 of his in game friends saw me with my fc2 kill him(whilst offscreening)on his fc4 max sdi mage.

6. PAD+Athena[Europa]- I wasnt going to put either of these guys on the list, and PAD is actually a fairly decent guy. But as a pair they did qualify as big time aos retards because of their disillusions of grandeur. Athena's claim to fame pre aos was occasionally appearing at yew gate with a verite axe, and running when someone cast on him. PAD was a full time scroll hunter, non pvper. First month of aos I had them and 3 tamers and white wyrms camp my arctic isle house after I had pked them at a spawn. Tarmon Gaidon and myself killed them all several times each around my house, including Athena at least 5 times. Neither PAD nor Athena showed any ability or potential, but they are both good examples of how aos made people with money better pvpers. Because money bought items, items bring success, success brings ego. With ego usually comes a necessity to improve or face failure.

7. Alice Mcfield [europa]- ActualFantasy with less ability to speak english and more ability to produce sidesplittingly retarded posts involving his extreme austrian right wing racism. Just like AF, accused everyone of cheating.

8. Elric [europa] - Another factioner like AF and Alice, another person who thought the whole world was against him, and paged 30 times a day on anyone who dared enter his uo existence. Even his friends (he had 2) called him a retard.

9. RedAntz [Drachs] - Part of the groundbreaking, shard destroying guild known as PVP. With talented members like RedAntz, PVP cut a bloody swathe across american and european shards. Or not. Choosing Drachs because it was supposedly less crowded, PVP entered our lives to breathe new life into UO. Members like Bud, VENOM and Jason all feature highly on the idiot scale, but none compare to Redantz. Actually Calix and I used to discuss this, we were convinced that he was an rl retard, with only one finger and 3 braincells, attached to a mouse and UO for retard therapy. He really is the worst mage you will ever see, capable of only casting one spell over and over. So out of compassion (hoho) we weren't going to name him. This was until Calix saw a picture of him which showed no signs of permanent retardation (except for being american). So he makes the list as a retard for playing so shit and spewing lots of shit too.

10. kal kristian [Europa]- This was a hard one, not because I wasnt sure whether this guy fittend in a retard thread, he certainly does, but because we're limited to 10 choices so it's hard to decide who should have the final place. He used to be one of armstrong and mark-o's best buddies. Another p16 runic axer who lasted a few months fo aos too, doing what he does best: Mouthing profanities. He was exceptionally good at it, and a specialist at calling anyone he just ganked a newb, regardless of whether or not that person had previously killed him and his guildmates 100s of times. In kal's case, yes he died a lot. Rather fitting that my list should start and end with the same type of player.

I was going to do some honourable mentions, but Ill add them later, I've written enough for now!

jerry
tom
x dangerous x
af
cookie
darkman
elric
pain

not in any order

Ahahaha, Bilbo - how could I have forgotten him ?

Best way to kill this guy in early AOS (Because conventional methods failed against his unusually high resists that early into AOS) was to call him a retard; he would get so angry IRL that he would lose focus in-game and spend ages typing out disjointed & grammatically incorrect insults at you, and completely fail to notice he was dying.
LOLOL NOOB YOU MUM SCUK MY COKC LOLooOoOOooOOoooo...

Special mention must go out to PALADIN, who really should have been on my list but I forgot him at time of writing.

Villa wrote:Ahahaha, Bilbo - how could I have forgotten him ?

Best way to kill this guy in early AOS (Because conventional methods failed against his unusually high resists that early into AOS) was to call him a retard; he would get so angry IRL that he would lose focus in-game and spend ages typing out disjointed & grammatically incorrect insults at you, and completely fail to notice he was dying.
LOLOL NOOB YOU MUM SCUK MY COKC LOLooOoOOooOOoooo...

lol you described him so much better than me, the ease with which you could wind him up was the best thing about him. He really would stop what he was doing and just stand there typing insults at you.

Paladin.. you had to give him credit he never ran.. even when there was about 10 FS precast he would run out of the yew house over and over and over.

...while saying thing like

YOU ABUSE ME

What about that guy from Drach, i cant remember his name, Belgrion or something. He was a necro/mage who used wands. Would cast that spell that lowered fire, then run off screen for a BILLION MILES, then do his super elite wand + explo + fs + wand.

Was in WK or such.

And also, Pains post made me lol. Calix annoy you eh? keke xD.

lol belomar.

Belomar ^^

Zim Zum wrote: 1. Bilbo [europa]- This guy pulled a vanishing act a few months after aos was out, but still qualifies for that 3 months for his never ending ability to constantly spew forth random insults whilst chasing people around with his axe. Memorable for quality one liners like LOLLOLL YOU SUCK and HAHAHA YOUR MUM.

Remember him in p16 but never saw him at all in aos..
He was like an aos dexer ahead of the time though.
kal kristian is a good call too.

Voilehg wrote: x dangerous x

Actually this guy can make the last on my list no doubt. Total cock who has never admitted losing one fight fairly ever, as well as just being a prick in general. I beat him in a duel on a wrestle mage and he said it was because I used mortal. He sucks.

Yeah Belomor.
rofl.

I was always under the impression that Armstrong played kal kristian, even if it wasn't directly his char.